Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
