when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
