I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
God I need to hump something, right now.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
