Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
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