Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
