I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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