Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
