she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
