it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
