PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
