return my video game
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
