She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
And the cops told us we were all naked.
cat food counts as protein by the way
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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