This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
