Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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