i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
