No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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