My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
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