apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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