do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
