I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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