I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
