I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
