I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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