A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
