Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
