i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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