so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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