So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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