But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
