i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
