so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
