let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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