BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
