I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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