chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
