I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
