I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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