Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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