last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
