i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
