how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
