My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
