He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
