Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My life is pants optional.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
