Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
