he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
