let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
