...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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