please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
