can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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