Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
