It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
